Sticky Notes from Hell
by Schyzotypal X
Summary: Where Riku is a horny beast, Kairi is an amused bystander, and Sora is just that guy who's trying to hook up his straight best-friend with a gay boyfriend because he thinks that HE is gay for him. -slashparody-Riku,Sora.
1. Chapter I

So I was bored and reading more of the extremely great **Snappleducated **when my friend started playing Kingdom Hearts I for the first time. This brought back huge waves of RikuxSora yaoi-ness and how fucking funny it can be**. **

So without further adieu, the massive innuendo fiesta in parts. Part 1.

* * *

**Sticky-Notes from Hell**

**Part 1**

**Note Passing**

* * *

Sora,

What kind of underwear do you have on?

-Riku

* * *

Riku,

…Is something wrong? What kind of question is that anyway?

-Sora

P.S. Is this some sort of way of cheating off of me for the test, because, if so, HA! I didn't study either!

* * *

Sora,

C'mon babe, don't hold out me. I'm so hot for your right now.

-Riku

P.S. You're so cute when you're being stupid. **; )**

* * *

Riku,

Please stop it, people can read these notes and you're freaking the hell out of me Riku.

-Sora

P.S. First of all, NEVER draw a winky face emoticon on any message to me again. EVER. Second of all, I'm not cute, I'm just boyishly handsome.

* * *

Sora,

I'm so hot for you right now. **;) ;) ;)**

-Riku

P.S. No, you're cute, cute as a basket of newborn kittens.

* * *

Riku,

I'm getting the feeling you're on something right now Riku. Please stop, you're hurting everyone around you, especially me.

-Sora

P.S. No, I'm not, you're just jealous because my looks get all the ladies while yours just scare them off.

* * *

Sora,

I've got my hand down my pants and a picture of you in my desk. Guess what I'm doing.** ;)**

-Riku

P.S. Who said I want to attract any girls?

* * *

Riku,

Graphing something? I don't know. And why would you need a picture of me? I'm like…five feet away Riku.

-Sora

P.S. Fine, I'll keep all the ladies for myself then.

* * *

Sora,

I'm horny.

-Riku

P.S. I'll cut them down before I let any of them touch you. Your mine.

* * *

Riku,

That's great man, really, I'd love to help you with that but I'm sorta taking my math final right now.

As you should be in fact.

-Sora

P.S. I'm…touched?

* * *

Sora,

I want sex.

-Riku

P.S. Where are you touched? C'mon Sora, where did I touch you Sora? **; P**

* * *

Riku,

Look Riku, we're friends and all, but this is something you're going to have to deal with on your own big guy.

-Sora

P.S. Winky-face-tongue out emoticons are soooo much worse than plain winky-faces. Please stop.

* * *

Sora,

I'm so turned on by you right now.

-Riku

P.S. Why? Do they get you off? **; P**

* * *

Riku,

Can you stop being gross and just get to the point? I'm trying to do math here!

-Sora

P.S. NO!

* * *

Sora,

**X**= Riku's gay for Sora squared

-Riku

* * *

Riku,

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

-Sora

* * *

Sora,

I see you're taking this well.

-Riku

* * *

Riku,

Stop! People can read this, they'll talk! Riku, that's so WRONG!

-Sora

P.S. GAAAAAAHH!

* * *

Sora,

Let me show you my Way to Dawn.

-Riku

P.S. My other one that is.

* * *

Riku,

NONONONONONONONONO!

Stop it. Stop it right now. You're evil.

-Sora

* * *

Sora,

Oh c'mon, it'll be good, I promise!

-Riku

P.S. Plus you know what they say about men with big feet!

* * *

Riku,

No more, just…please, no more!

-Sora

P.S. NO I don't and I don't think I want to!

* * *

Sora,

Yeah, that's right, pretend to deny it when you really love it you big freaking, that's really HOT shit Sora. Puuuurrr.

I'm gonna make you scream my name in bed.

-Riku

* * *

Riku,

I'm not gay. Leave me alone. Stop this joke Riku it's NOT FUNNY!

-Sora

P.S. No Riku, I can guarantee you won't.

* * *

Sora,

We'll see baby, we'll see.

**; ) ; P**

-Riku

P.S. Oh yes. I can.

* * *


	2. Chapter II

**Sticky-Notes from Hell**

**Chapter 2**

**Phone-call, Chat, & Text**

* * *

"Hey baby, I'm gonna go down on you tonight."

"Riku! What the hell!?"

"Sorry about not answering your last message, I got held up by Teach'."

"That's totally relevant right now, Riku, it's one in the morning, why the fuck are you calling me."

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm in my room trying to get some much needed sleep, please, just get on with it Riku."

"Wow Sora, we really need to work on your prenuptial sexy talk, it's terrible."

"Why are you calling Riku?"

"Because, I wanted to tell you the answer to the feet question."

"Riku."

"Soraaaaa."

"Please stop that."

"Never. Now, moving on. The answer to the feet thing Sora."

"Riku, stop."

"It means that I have a really big."

"Riku!"

"Throbbing,"

"Stop it!"

"Engorged."

"RIKU!"

"Thumb."

"Riku you are such a fucking bastard."

*laughter* "See, I told you I could get you to scream my name in bed!"

"…oh fuck you."

"How hard Sora?"

*click*

* * *

KeybladeMasta: has logged on

IPwnEverything: has logged on

KeybladeMasta: Rlly humble Riku

IPwnEverything: Yeah! I know right?

KeybladeMasta: Wtvr, nyway, coming 2 Kairi's party nxt week.

IPwnEverything: Yeah, I guess. What have I told you about chatspeak Sora?

KeybladeMasta: Never to use it in any situation EVER.

IPwnEverything: Now what are you gonna stop using right now?

KeybladeMasta: Chatspeak?

IPwnEverything: Yes, that's right Sora, good boy.

KeybladeMasta: Fine, as long as you don't start doing that weird gay crush stuff again.

IPwnEverything: You mean the stuff where _I want to take a ride on your Gumi Ship_? If you know what I mean. ;)

KeybladeMasta: GOD! Those are even worse in actual computer form and RIKU STOP IT!

IPwnEverything: Yes! I've got you shouting my name online now too! I'm great!

KeybladeMasta: You do realize I could totally get you arrested for sexual harassment right?

IPwnEverything: Oh c'mon Sora! I just want _to_ _explore some new worlds with you_!

KeybladeMasta: No. No. NO. NO. THE POWER OF CHRIST REPELS YOU FOUL SEX DEMON!

IPwnEverything: I'll lust after you forever Sora!

KeybladeMasta: Leaving, NOW!

IPwnEverything: BUT SORA! Our hearts are connected!

KeybladeMasta: There are ways to fix that!

IPwnEverything: All I wanted to do was towage war against evil with you!

KeybladeMasta: What?

IPwnEverything:…In my pants…

KeybladeMasta has logged out.

* * *

To: Riku

From: Sora

Riku we need to talk.

* * *

To: Sora

From: Riku

Oh Sora, texting love notes in class. You dog.

* * *

To: Riku

From: Sora

I don't have times for this Riku. Meet me in the bathroom. Now.

* * *

To: Sora

From: Riku

Be still my heart!

Be right there.

* * *

Name: Riku Tasogare

Age: 17

| |Female |X|Male

| |Heterosexual | |Bisexual |X|Homosexual

Religion: BLANK

Likes: Long walks on the beach, sunsets over the ocean, working out on my toned, rock hard muscles, carpentry.

Dislikes: Boring people, disloyalty, Heartless

Hobbies: Martial arts, fighting, reading poetry

I'm looking for: Someone to show the way to dawn and explore whole new worlds with. Very open.

Strong Points: I'm sexy and I pwn everything.


End file.
